My Awefull Life » A Pilgrimage of Wonder

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Hello!  [blows five inches of dust off blog] If anyone is still out there…Hope you are well. Between Instagram, facebook, and that whole parenting thing, my days of blogging appear to be numbered. I did want to make sure to mark in time a great milestone for our family as we celebrate one year home with Lulu this week. March 24th marked one year since we stepped back onto Tennessee ground as a family of five with Fasika Louise in our arms. The adventure has not been easy nor always as pretty as it can appear in photographs, but it truly is a miracle. We are grateful and better being a part of this miracle of love. Here is a little slideshow compilation of our adventure from Ethiopia to now. Thank you for all your love and prayers for our family.

Love,

-Sarah

Learning to Love as Five from sarah richmond on Vimeo.

A visual compilation of Lulu’s first year home and our adventure of learning to love as a family of five. Love is a miracle. Let’s be a miracle. Song credit: Miracle, Sara Groves

Back before I really started using this blog as my main source of sharing bits of writing, I published this post on my photography blog. Yesterday, it came back to memory during a Bible study on Colossians I have been taking part in. We were covering the well-known verses in chapter 3 on marriage, parenting, and submission in our relationships. As I sat and listened to the hearts of my friends as we all worked to unearth fresh life from often over-quoted and under-lived scriptures, the words from my experience well over a year ago resurfaced in my mind. “Do you want to be happy or do you want to be right?” I must admit I left my friends yesterday a bit discouraged, realizing how very little of this I have figured out and how quickly I choose “right” over “happy.” Why is the lie of what life should look like so much easier to buy into than the simplest of truths? Today rereading the post, I thought if I needed to see what God in Mercy and Kindness showed me in the mirror of my life all those months ago, there may be someone else who could appreciate the lesson at my expense. So with all hope, it won’t need to be learned at your own.

To staying on course,

-Sarah

____

Some battles are birthed out of the slightest of strayed steps. Derailment doesn’t often wave a flag announcing its swift approach. You could be moving along at a decent pace, and in a breath be airborne, wheels having left tracks, bracing for inevitable impact. A few weeks ago, we had a Sunday morning at our house scattered with those wayward feet; a snooze button pressed just once more, a duel of wills over a child’s breakfast, a gas tank left on “E” and without warning or purpose it all began to unravel. Frazzled and late, we pushed and huffed and stomped out the door to church. Yes, church. That particular day we had to drive two cars as one of us was committed to serve during second service, so he in the vehicle on fumes and me in with the now sniffling, post-tantrum child, threw gears in reverse away from home, fully aware of the shaky, uneven tracks beneath us.

It is a 17-minute drive from our driveway to church parking lot, and it is safe to say I was stewing over the morning’s events for 15.5 of those minutes. Knowing all the while, the path to peace, the way back onto steady track, lay within my own hands. Hands that at the moment were clenched tight and tense around the driver’s wheel, as if straining to steer much more than the SUV I navigated. Hands that could so quickly pull away from another’s, in a fit of self-righteous animosity. As thoughts flurried about my mind, ‘How did we get here?’ ‘This is not how today was meant to go,’ the simple question arose from the mess.

“Do I want to be happy, or do I want to be right?”

Sigh. My grip loosens ever so.

If one were to look back over my life, my marriage, would the landscape be littered with the debris of derailment after derailment all in the name of being right, being heard, being without fault? Years and countless train wrecks later, it is on this Sunday morning, this 17-minute drive, I have a choice to make. Brace for impact, and choose to brood and blame my husband, my kids for this latest less than perfect. Or release those tightened fists and allow my pride to fall through open fingers, choosing instead joy. Seeing it in type, the choice isn’t even really a choice, but we all know the living, breathing story is hardly ever that clear.  Why is that? How is this even a struggle to decide – bitterness or happiness? When has choosing to be right ever made me happier? How much laughter has indignation ushered unto my lips? Where is joy when the path chosen is wide enough only for one and the bitter I carry with me?

“Do I want to be happy, or do I want to be right?”

The church in view around the bend, my decision settles. Still tardy for service, we unload and little legs scurry to keep my pace. I don’t say much to their sweet faces, but the few words of forgiveness we exchange are enough as we jog across the asphalt to the open doors of the church. I know by way of the tender eyes and loving grip around my arm, they have already forgotten, their hearts too small yet to hang onto the ugly. Having stopped in route to remedy the empty gas tank, the final passenger to our train rushes in behind as the kids are checking into their classes. “I’ll take them,” he offers. “You go find us seats.” No time to tell him of the 17-minutes or of my choice.

An usher leads me to two seats up front, and as I settle in, I close my eyes. I whisper prayer. Again, I choose. He slips in from the aisle next to me and exhales, having survived the last 45-minutes of rocky terrain. And as derailments are born from the smallest of missteps; it is the simplest of gestures that can steer us back to safety. This day, I chose joy. I slipped my arm through his and felt pride fall to the floor below. We exchanged looks and a sentence, and again it is enough. Bitterness and resentment denied in place of humility and submission to each other. And by choosing joy, joy is found.

We went on to enjoy one of the most beautiful days our family has ever shared. The impact of a simple acknowledgement, apology or act of surrender hit me that afternoon as we watched the kids run and play at our favorite picnic spot. From my place on a quilt in the middle of giggles and conversation with my love, I saw clearly how the day could have gone if history had repeated itself and joy was left out in the cold while being “right” became the path chosen. This moment, this gift of a day would have never been written, and happiness would have been passed over once more. But isn’t every day the opportunity to choose? Isn’t every situation, circumstance, trial, a chance for us to make the change and the choice for joy, or the choice to allow the wheels to fall off? I can’t say there are no more derailments in my path, but I can’t help but think the effect of joy chosen strengthens the very tracks beneath us, lowering risk for catastrophe, and motivating us to get on rolling.

  • Jen - Such beautiful words and heartfelt experience. This is exactly what I needed to read this morning, thank you for sharing it. Humility is love.ReplyCancel

The word “Home” has taken on such deep meaning these past few years. Tonight, it resonates particularly as we celebrate a Redeemer, a King, who came as a child to make His home here among us; combined with the victory of our Lulu being home with us this Christmas. We may be weary and worn, but we are oh so joyful and madly in love with the three babes gifted into our life. May your homes and hearts be recipients of the same abundance in Love we have been graced with. Thank you for being a part of our continuing story.

Merriest of Wishes and Warmest of Smiles to you this night,

– Rob, Sarah, Emma, Asher & Lulu

One year ago Rob and I were spending Thanksgiving on the other side of the globe in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia – laying eyes and love on our baby girl for the first time. At this point last year we had already been through quite a long road, and still we had no idea what laid ahead of us just around the corner. I am so so grateful to have written down portions of the story – to have for our girl, to have for me and my wavering, tattered faith in the height of the storms we still face. Today, Thanksgiving 2012, we once again have a great multitude to rejoice over and it feels like a good time to repost what I wrote last Thanksgiving Day from that guest house in Addis as well as share a moment captured proclaiming the fulfilled promises of the Author of Thanksgiving.

With Love and Gratitude for your friendship this year,

-Sarah

 

 

With Thanksgiving, November 24, 2011

Hello beautiful friends-
It is about 9pm Thursday evening here in Addis, and I am sure many of you are sitting down to tables of turkeys, pies and family right about now.

Lulu is absolutely lovely. We have spent a few hours with her the past two days and she is us, we both recognize it and I think she does as well. We hope to share photos and video very soon and will as soon as we are cleared to. Speaking of such, as you will be sleeping tonight (or out shopping!) we will be appearing in court to finalize our intent to adopt. We are still praying for a miracle that our letter from the MOWCYA will be there in court tomorrow for our appointment. Thank you for praying with us!

Our time here has been a huge combination of emotions and been a journey of challenge at times but one we walk by choice, by faith, and as hard as it is to muster at times, with thanksgiving. I can’t even explain how being able to access email and Facebook intermittently has encouraged us. Usually there are many families traveling together on these trips, but it ended up that we have not had any other families along with us. So to be able to get online and read your sweet prayers and notes has been so incredible. It makes it feel less lonely, and that you all are on the adventure with us. We love you and have felt loved by you this week- so thank you.

During our visit this afternoon with Lu I was asking her if she likes music, because it’s kind of a big deal at our house. Rob pulled up a song on his phone and I sang along to her. I don’t know if the song he played was intentional or not, but after a morning of tears and frustration over this process and having to leave our crying baby in the arms of someone else, it was a song I needed to bring me back around to the truth. Hillsong United’s “Take Heart” was Lulu’s first official lullaby as a Richmond.
“Take heart, let His love lead us through the night, hold onto hope, take courage again…”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8MfBQ30Ta9w&feature=youtube_gdata_player


Happy Thanksgiving- your lives have filled ours with gratitude.